Mother~Daughter LOVE: How the relationships changes when you become a mother.

I never knew how much my relationship with my mom would change once I became a mother...

I have always had a special relationship with my mom. I feel like it has stemmed from the incredible mother she had and their relationship. I grew up with my mom around all the time, well my mom and my Grandma. They were best friends. My mom was her caregiver. Their relationship was something that I valued and always wished I could one day have with my mom and some day my own daughter.

I have always been extremely close to my mom. She was and still is the best mom. Growing up she was so involved, room mother every year in elementary school, girl scout leader, coach, and mostly a great parent and friend. I was a great kid in school, but I know I had a mouth on me when I was mad and I seemed to always take that out on my mom. As an adult our relationship only grew, but that doesn't mean that I didn't sometimes get to a point where I treated my mom in a way that I was told "I don't know where you get this! I never talked to my mom this way!" and she was right! Why in my 20's was I also so hard on my mom. Why didn't I have that whole-hearted silent respect my mom had for my Grandma? Why were the three of us so much alike, yet so different?

A little back story on Grandma...

Grandma was the oldest of three girls, she was diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes at the age of 11. That was was in 1951. At that time, a lot of her time was spent in the hospital. There wasn't the medical advances we have today to stabilize her diabetes. She was told she would never have children, yet was able to have 4 children. My grandma lived for others, her husband, her children and later in life her grandchildren. She received joy and love by spreading it. The glue to the family, our everything. She was one of the most giving people. She made you feel special.

My grandma passed away in 2005, 10 years this September, and I never saw my mom talk to her in anything but a comforting manner. 

A little back story on mom...

My mom is the oldest of 3, the only girl. She has so many of the same characteristics as my grandma. From the time she was small, my mom was always helping out and caring for my Grandma. Since my grandma passed, of course, my mom now became that glue. Big shoes to fill, and my does she fill them well. 

My Grandma and my mom had similar situations in motherhood. They both were married and pregnant with baby number one in their very early 20's. They were both stay at home moms that worked small side jobs for extra money. They both found love young and have had successful marriages. My story on the other hand is not similar.

I went to college, began a teaching career, bought a home while single, and then in my late 20's I met my husband. At the age of 30 I was married and had my first baby. A good 10 years after my mom and grandma. I had already established a life that required a financial need for me to work. So, staying at home didn't seem to be an option for me. I have a hard time with that everyday, but I am fortunate enough that my daughter gets to spend her days with the same woman that helped make me who I am, my mom.

See, as much as the three of us have so much in common, first born girls, leaders, compassionate, thoughtful...we also have taken different paths in life. Yet, we have all been mothers and that's where our true connection happens.

From the moment I became a mother, my entire relationship with my mom changed. We no longer fight over pointless stuff, my respect for her is so high I don't even know how to describe how lucky we are. I have experiences everyday as a mom that make me understand choices and rules that my mom put into place when I was younger.

One of the biggest things that made my heart go out to my mom was the first time my daughter was sick. I remember going through middle school and high school and my mom crying with me over boys and friend issues. I never understood why she was so upset, she wasn't hurting, I was! She would explain to me that she did hurt. She would tell me over and over, "Stacy, when your children hurt, you hurt." I would just yell back like a know-it-all teenager that she didn't understand. BOY, WAS I WRONG! I never have felt so much hurt, as I did when my daughter was sick and crying and in so much pain and I couldn't fix it. I would just cry with her.

I am terrified of her growing up and watching her get hurt by other kids with their words and actions, seeing her sick or in pain, but I know she will be ok. Its hard to see your child go through pain. My daughter is only 16 months, but through the process of being her mom, I have learned what an amazing mom I have. She would give me the world if she could. Our relationship is so strong right now. We have always been close, but I haven't always treated her with the respect that I should. As a mother, of a spunky little girl, I know I have my work cut out for me. I know my daughter will challenge my patience and my strength.

I only pray that one day, she becomes a parent and can finally realize the unconditional love that I feel for her. That my mom feels for me. That my grandma felt for my mom. As much as non-mothers want to admit they understand, they do not understand. You never truly understand the love that is possible by a mother until you are a mother. Its a love that my mom had for me that I never understood until I had my own daughter.

I am happy to be part of a chain of first born mothers and daughters, we have this connection that I am excited to add my daughter to.

I never knew how much my relationship with my mom would change once I became a mother...its stronger, happier, better...a best friend that no one else will ever have. My best friend.

Much love~

Stacy

My New Love~Essential Oils

So, I have started back at work over the last couple of months and posting to the blog has once again been put on the back burner. Now that I am a few days away from the end of my 8th year of teaching, I was able to find a little time to finally post about what has been going on with me lately.

Savi is quickly approaching the 6 month mark! So many milestones babies make in their 1st year, everyday is an adventure and everyday is so fun. I love being her mom, it is the greatest reward I have ever had. Her laugh lights up our world, and as long as she is happy, we are happy.

I wanted to share with you all my new love~doTERRA Essential Oils :) They are quickly changing my life and I am learning so much about healing and wellness. I have always been someone that is quick to pop 5-6 Advil's when I have a headache or it is that "time of the month." I have never had a problem taking medicine that is prescribed to me. Yet, when it came to my daughter, I started questioning things.

Savi has had a rough go every time she has gotten shots. It has taken a strong toll on her and us. When Savi was given her 4 month shots things were horrible. Her sleeping was off, she developed a cold, she was fussy...I wanted my happy-sleep all night-healthy baby back! After a week, I didn't know what else to do but reluctantly with the push of others, I took her to the doctor. We saw the nurse practitioner. She examined Savi and let me know that I just have a healthy baby, who is fussy! I was so mad, I wasted my time and money to take my daughter to the doctor for them to tell me, there is nothing we can do!

I want to soothe Savi naturally and safely. I hated the thought of "drugging" her with Tylenol every time I didn't know what to do, or letting her suffer, or cry it out. I had heard about essential oils and using lavender to help soothe and calm, but that was about all I knew. My neighbor hosted a class on doTERRA Essential Oils, and I attended open minded that this could be something to help me as a mom. Much to my surprise, it was much more than that. I found out that these oils were going to benefit my entire family and I was going to give this a try.

I began withe the FPK (Family Physicians Kit). This contains 10 basic doTERRA Essential Oils that will assist in basic family health and wellness. Between ordering the doTERRA Essential Oils and actually receiving them in the mail, Savi's allergies were out of control. It was spring time, early May and she was sneezing, coughing, and rubbing her eyes every time we walked outside. I hated seeing her so miserable. She loves walks and now just walking outside was putting her in pain. I did not want to take her to the doctor for me to hear, "She just needs to wait out the allergy season" or start pumping my little 4 month old with allergy meds.

So, as recommended, I used the oils to help relieve my daughters allergy symptoms. Since Savi is an infant, I had to also purchase FCO (Fractionated Coconut Oil) to use to dilute the oils for her. doTERRA Essential Oils are pure and come straight from plants, which makes them very strong. A little bit goes a long way and for infants and small children you need to dilute with a carrier oil, such as FCO. Anyway, I bought some roller bottles from www.aromatools.com and made Savi a lil allergy mixture.

doTERRA Allergy Relief and Prevention

Using a 10mL Roll-On Vial

• 15 Drops of Lemon
• 15 Drops of Peppermint
• 15 Drops of Lavender
• Top off with a carrier oil (I used FCO)

AMAZING! Savi's allergies were gone! I was beyond impressed and I still find it hard to believe. We love to go on family walks and I will roll the allergy blend on Savi's feet before our walk and not one sneeze or cough the entire hour long walk, even after the grass was freshly cut! After this experience I was instantly intrigued as to what else these oils could help me with!

So far, the oils have helped myself and my little family with allergies, sleep, headaches, body aches, insect protection and energy levels! I haven't even had them a month, I have so much to learn. I am so excited to see what else I can help my family and others with using essential oils. My journey with doTERRA Essential Oils has only begun. My husband is calling me a hippie and I have many family members that think I am crazy (I am embracing both of these haha!), but my baby is happy and healthy and no longer suffering from allergies! So I am one happy momma! My husband is even sneaking some oils here and there...slowing becoming a believer.

If you may be interested in trying out any oils, just let me know. I can order them for you, let you sample some or bring you along on the essential oil journey with me. Trust me, you will love them!

Visit my website to check them out! http://mydoterra.com/stacybauer

This is Savi and I on Mother's Day. We went on a hike through the woods at Powder Valley Nature Center. I put the trusty allergy blend on the bottom of Savi's feet and we had not one sneeze or cough!

 

Much love,

~Stacy

Confessions of a First Time Mom #1

I decided to write this post the morning after my 31st birthday. This was my first birthday as a wife and mom. This birthday was...well...different. I thought I would take a minute to explain why it was different and how I came to an overwhelming realization that my life, including this birthday, was never going to be the same. 

Let me start by saying I have always wanted to be a mom. I have known since I was a kid, no matter what, I was going to be a mom. I never knew how my mommy journey was going to start, but whether I was going to foster, adopt, or have my own children...I was destined to be a mom. So, as soon as my husband and I got married, I wanted to try for children right away. We got lucky, and got pregnant sooner than expected, we were blessed with a "honeymoon baby." I was beyond excited, it seemed to good to be true!

The entire pregnancy, it's about you and the baby. People ask you daily how you are feeling? You visit the doctor so many times and they want to make sure you and baby are healthy. Ultimately everyone is concerned about you. Some days the attention is too much to take, and others you are offended that someone didn't ask about you or the baby. People also like to tell you how much life will change and how nothing will ever be the same. I would just think to myself, of course it will be different we will have a baby. I don't think anyone could prepare me for how different it was going to be.

Like I said before, I decided to write this blog post the day after my birthday, because my birthday was not what I expected. I am big on birthdays, I love celebrating them. I love celebrating family birthdays, friends birthdays, and mostly mine :) I mean, I have already started a secret Pinterest board planning my 6 week olds first birthday if that explains anything.

The things is, the day was overall great! I went to lunch with my best friend and my mom. I went shopping, this was not fun because I still have a long way to go in the baby weight department. My mom helped watch Savi while I got ready for dinner, and my family took me out to dinner where we had a great time. The thing was throughout the whole day, it never really was about me. My entire thought process was about my daughter.

For 31 years, my birthdays have always been about me. This may sound selfish, but I have amazing friends and family that do the best job making my day AMAZING! Well, as much as anyone could have made my day about me, my world revolved around my daughter. I no longer felt special, I just felt like Savanna's mom. She needed me all day. Whether I had to nurse her, change her diaper (she pooped all over me on my bday :) I guess it was her present to me), or soothe her to sleep. Everything about "My Day" was about her. This was hard to take at first. Every other day, I was ok with my world revolving around my daughter, I love it that way. Yet, on my birthday, I guess I expected different...

Overall, the overwhelming realization I came to is that I am striving so hard to be so many things, a wife, daughter, friend, sister, teacher...but before every role in my life comes my daughter. I had dreamed of being a mom for so long, it is now that time, and it is time that I embrace it. I never expected to feel the way I did on my birthday, but I am sure it is a feeling other first-time moms have as well. Am I right? Are there other mom's out there that have felt this way?

Life has changed. Life is rewarding. Life is messy. Life is different. Life is me as a wife and mother and it is more of a joy and blessing than I could have ever imagined. People were right, life has changed, it will never be the same...Life is better, so much better!

Much Love,
~Stacy